An avalanche of tears

Raging screams into my pillow

Bowling ball resting on my solar plexus

My ego dies another death

Humbled

Humiliated 

Crushed

Confused

In awe of the weight of it

In awe of the story I created 

And believed

A baby once again

Vulnerable and needy. 

A bird that has smashed into a window

To lie on the patio in shock… and to breathe it’s last breath… 

Inhale… 

But the exhale… it comes!

How it is possible I do not know

Another and another breath and I am equally impressed and disappointed

As it feels like the suffering will never end

But I know better

And I have been built to hold and withstand such grief

I will rise again.