Grace – the essence of the great stillness and presence that love is…that joy is… that peace is.
As I recognize and celebrate it more and more throughout my days, it comes to bless me more and more.
As I ride out the waves of illusion, choosing not to take action (lash out, victim consciousness, blame, criticism) and instead be with the great presence that is my anchor… I come home.
I tame the wild storm of illusion and ego and I slay the demons in my mind.
Peace! Be still.
I come through it and return home easily and readily – knowing that I may be pulled back down. I may have to start over and ride out the next wave… and welcome grace back in… to soothe and nourish and breathe life into me.
I accept my human-ness.
I love my human-ness.
I know that it is part of the play, the game of life, but it is not ME. And I know that this illusion continues to lose its power as I become more familiar with this play.
I watch and observe, notice and remain connected to my anchor and truth… with grace available to me at all times.
Let there be grace. Let grace descend upon each one of us. Right here and now. Om.
~ By Lisa Beck
Dear One ~
Has grace blessed your life recently? Can you recall the last time that you felt the wave of grace wash over you? A moment where you felt instantly lighter, less loaded, and more free in your body, mind and heart?
Have you experienced grace while in the midst of a crisis or during a dark night of the soul?
Last year around this time, I was blanketed mostly in darkness. My mother (one of my earth angels) made a special trip to stay with me in California for a week to care for me, pray with me, comfort me and help process all that I was feeling and experiencing. I couldn’t make sense of it all, I just know that I felt heartbroken, lost and confused.
It was a flavor of darkness I hadn’t experienced before.
I know now that a large part of who I was, was dying. I was experiencing an inner death… in fact, it was many small deaths in a very short amount of time.
I was thrust into an inner battle that at times left me feeling broken and battered. I was so weary and weak at times and so tired of life.
The battle was led by my ego and higher self. My ego brought out the ammunition and swords and what seemed like impenetrable armor.
Circumstances all fell into the most perfect place for this battle to occur, over and over again, and at the time I felt like I was trapped inside a washing machine.
Everything in my life that was important to me was falling and shifting and so many things were not working.
I could feel myself in the birth canal and tried to tell myself over and over again, “this too, shall pass.” But then I’d be hit with a new challenge, disappointment, let down.
New Year’s Eve this past year was magical and I felt that I had overcome so much and was now moving toward redemption and triumph. The next day, I received bad news and a major project fell apart.
A most celebratory and joyful birthday celebration this past April felt like I had been reborn and was now through the worst of it. I felt that the mercy of God would now fall upon me and that the bumpy ride was now smoothing out. I pat myself on the back that I had made it through so much.
Then, over the next month or two, my father was diagnosed with heart disease and had to have quadruple bypass surgery. My beloved grandmother died and a dear friend almost lost his life in a freak motorcycle accident in India. My plans to relax and rejuvenate in the mountains of North India were cut short and I spent the rest of my time in India going to the hospital and helping take care of my friend.
The hits just kept coming.
I tried to compare myself to others whose lives were “worse off” than me… at least I had my health and a roof over my head… I counted all of my blessings as much as I could but did not take the time to truly HONOR the trauma I had experienced for many, many months. Years.
My savior? Besides all of the earth angels in my life who helped me navigate through so much emotional trauma and break down (you know who you are) and literally helped me step one foot in front of the next, was GRACE.
I’ve had the most magical experiences of grace in the past year which breathed life back into my cells and nervous system.
Grace came in the form of my dear friends and family who rallied around me.
Grace came in the form of therapy with magical women who helped me see the big picture of what was happening in my life.
Grace came in the form of my higher self sending me messages and reminders (in countless ways) about who I am… even if just for a second.
Grace gave me hope.
Grace lifted me out of the darkness. Sometimes for a breath. Sometimes for an hour. Sometimes for an entire day.
I was given tools to process my emotions and experiences. I went back to past traumas which had been reactivated and needed more attention and healing.
I discovered new teachers, poems, books and art that seemed to be created just for me and what I was going through.
Grace kept coming. Slowly at first, and then as my ego settled down she came more and more often.
Now I breathe her in every day, multiple times per day and I cannot express the gratitude and relief that I feel.
One thing I know is this… the hits may continue to come. Things may fall apart again. I may have to go to battle again… but I know that I am not the same person that I was. I have been equipped with new tools. I have been taken on a journey outside of myself and can appreciate the bigger picture. I have a new relationship with my ego and I know why I am here and why I have needed to experience these many small inner deaths. I can sense where it is leading.
My intuition and heart space are clearer and more open and I am the most willing I’ve ever been to continue on this journey of surrender and trust.
This is grace. The words on grace at the beginning of this blog are from a journal entry from last December. I recently read them and feel compelled to share them with you in the hopes that they might inspire and uplift you. I know that many shifts and transformations are happening for all of us, and that Grace is available to all in the midst of whatever darkness (illusion) is present.