heart-cloud

This is love:
to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First to let go of life.
Finally, to take a step without feet.

~ Rumi

 

Dear Beloved ~

I love this Rumi poem. I love the idea of taking a step without feet. To fly towards a secret sky.

I don’t know about you, but I traverse the secret skies often.

Some may say I can get lost in the clouds. That I am a dreamer. I can allow myself to be swooped up into another space and time. Another reality.

A dimension that we cannot see with our eyes or touch with our fingers.

I fly into this space and sometimes want to live there permanently.

I have considered this tendency of “travel” to be many things.

  • An Awesome Imagination.
  • Distraction. Immaturity. Denial. Escapism.
  • Not living in “reality”.
  • An ability to see things and connect to my dreams in the most magical way.
  • An ability to call forth the life I desire.
The Law of Attraction teaches that we are to become what we want. We are to embody that which we desire in order for it to be revealed through us.

So when I am flying into this secret sky, where love rules and all things are possible…my dreams are born and potential and possibility is most visible.

But what of the earth?

We are also of the earth. We are flesh and bone.

We walk and dance upon our Mama Gaia.

The balance of life, for me, is to fly and dream and dissolve into the ocean of space and time…and yet to also be able to dig my “claws” into the earth. To feel my density. To be present in my body. To be present to those around me.

When I was in India I flew in and out of both realms easily. The atmosphere was such that I could go from being in a state of bliss and contentment to pure, raw humanness in a matter of minutes. I would be “floating” after a beautiful morning yoga and meditation practice or afternoon stepping practice, then find myself dodging crazy monkeys, sharp cow horns, motorbikes and trying not to step on giant cow pies while I walked back to my guest house.

In the beginning it was all very overwhelming and chaotic. The trash, the noise, the interesting smells (sometimes mouth-watering delicious and other times totally repulsive) made it very difficult for me to find an ease or flow about my experience.

By the end of my stay in India, both of these worlds had integrated and woven into a beautiful tapestry of “life” for me.

India has this magic. Chaos with grace and flow.

I no longer was thrown off by someone yelling at me from their little shop, “Namaste-ji! Come into my shop! You are Shakti dancer. I have what you need here! All the Shakti girls shop here!”

Or the endless stream of sounds…horns honking from cars and motorbikes of all shapes and sizes, wedding marching bands playing at all times of day or night, fireworks cracking, cows mooing, dogs barking, construction, all of it.

It all became a beautiful soundtrack for my joyful dance life in Pushkar. I was able to settle into a sweetness of being…one I haven’t been able to hold for very long in my western life.

I felt held and loved and supported as I grew into a stronger dancer. I was able to drop into a meditative state easily and the little things stopped bothering me. I softened and opened parts of me that were tied up, wound up, and locked up.

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photo by Carrie Stiles

And then?

I returned home and felt discombobulated, rearranged, cracked open, super raw and very ungrounded. I flew to my secret skies and retreated into my dance dream memories of saris, rose oil, paneer curry, masala chai, monkeys, cows…my India. During those first few weeks home I worked so hard to stay in these magical dream spaces.

Meanwhile, life was waiting for me.

I read Rumi’s poem and my heart melted. I love my secret skies.

I love to think about my time in India and dream of going back as soon as possible.

My work now is to feel that sweet love in my heart. To visit those places in my mind but to return to the earth and to the present. To practice mindfulness. Grounded presence. To look at my loved ones in the eyes and be here for them. To share the sweet nectar that I collected and absorbed over there with my community and family here. To dance my dance on Bhumi (earth element) and remember the truth.

I know now what it is to feel integrated. Of the earth and of the sky. But I don’t need to be in India to experience it. I go there to be reminded of what is possible, but I get to create it here in my life now.

To wake every morning and commit to my practice, my sadhana.

To embody sweetness, compassion, love, and generosity.

To flow through every day life with my eyes open, feet planted, wings spread and heart aglow.

Of the earth. Of the sky.