Lately I’ve felt as if I’ve fallen into a hole and I’m trying to crawl out.
Inside the hole I have glimpses of the path I was on and the magic I was making. I remember the peace and ease I have cultivated and the forgiveness and compassion I was embodying. I remember so much movement and breath and green foods and the abundance of this life.
I remember vitality.
Connection. Community. Friendships. Love.
Inside the hole I feel my humanity. The mistakes I’ve made, the judgements and reactions I’d like to forgive myself for and the deep rage that still resides within.
Inside the hole I feel sad…
About the great DIVIDE I am witnessing… the “us” vs “them”… the me against you.
Right vs Left. Woman vs Man. Black vs White. Rich vs Poor. Pro this and anti that. The dark vs the light.
I want to scream at the world and say “noooo!!!! This is not how we really want to be!!!! Stop the hate and cruelty! Stop the insanity!!!”
And then I realize that Inside this hole no one can hear me…. and I realize that this is why I’ve fallen into the hole. To hear these words…. to scream them to myself and realize the INTENSE amount of healing, forgiveness and transformation that my little life is calling out…. to ME.
And inside the hole I see and feel the light shining through. Shining in and flowing out.
I realize that I do not need to try to crawl out of this hole. I simply need to RISE. ELEVATE. Through LOVE. Through devotion and honesty. Through awareness and the recognition that the way forward is only within.
The message pouring into me as I sit patiently, surrendered in this hole is this:
Smile more. Notice more. Be curious. Help out. Understand. Listen. Let go of identity. Let go of conditions. Let go of expectations. Let go of entanglement. Be gentle. Be soft. And YES be fierce when called for. Speak more of joy and nature and art and what is working. Think less about the “what ifs” and “how dare they” and all the things that are wrong. Acknowledge and notice, but let that shit go.
And let the light IN.