Are you ready?
I get asked this question about once a week from friends, family, acquaintances who know about my upcoming epic adventure in India.
“Are you ready? How are the preparations coming? How are you feeling?”
My answers are usually like…”well, I’m getting there.” Or sometimes “Yes! I am so ready!” Other times I say “I’m scared and excited at the same time.”
Really, I want to launch into this…
NO. I’m not ready. I feel like a fish out of water, flapping around gasping for air. I feel totally discombobulated as I make flight, train, bus, and hotel arrangements…every where from Goa to Mumbai to Delhi to Jaisalmer. I feel like I’m diving off the tallest cliff on the planet without a parachute or soft fluffy bed to catch me.
I feel like I’ve ripped out all roots to my home and life. Like I don’t know where I belong anymore.
I feel like I’m growing the largest and most uncomfortable pair of wings. They are ripping through my skin. They are growing at an alarming rate and feel heavy and awkward. I don’t know how to use them, or if they will work when I try.
But I also want to say this…
Yes. I am so ready. I am more ready than I have ever been in my life.
Everything in my life has led to this trip. The universe continues to shower me with confirmations that I’m on the right track. I feel so incredibly supported by friends, family and my community.
I get butterflies of excitement and pure JOY every time I think about my dance school, my beloved Pushkar, the fabulous 21 day group tour I am co-leading, the Women’s Economic Forum that I will be presenting at, all of the incredible people I will be meeting. The cows. The monkeys. The camels. The mountains. The music, drumming, dance. The FOOD. The children. The shopping.
I feel like I’m going back home. Like I’m running back into the most loving arms.
I am so ready.
I talked to my friend Kathy (my co-leader on our group trip) yesterday and she says that each time she prepares for India she feels ready and not ready. Excited and scared. Like she’s on the right track and also like she doesn’t know what she’s doing.
Stage fright. Butterflies in your stomach. Opposing voices in your head. Do they ever go away? Should they?
So what do we do when our hearts are yearning, we’ve made a choice, we feel ready but not ready?
We trust. We jump off that cliff.
We know that when things scare us a little bit and we don’t feel quite ready…but also feel on track, supported and full of excitement and wonder…we just JUMP. We go for it.
Trust your desires. Trust your heart. Follow it. Intellectually, “realistically” you might not be as ready as you feel you should. But go for it anyways.
A way will be made when you trust and let go.